Although at some juncture I will agree to disagree with a thoughtful interlocutor for the sake of maintaining friendship, I cannot be persuaded to change my response to these matters that shape my life as a follower of Christ: treating people who follow other faiths with respect and compassion; celebrating the calling of women into every form of Christian ministry; affirming the reality of climate change and working to reverse our human footprint on earth; supporting Black Lives Matter in our racially torn American society; opposing the racist phenomenon of white supremacy and its insidious intrusion into segments of evangelicalism; welcoming and affirming LGBTQ people as beloved children of the Creator God and as my siblings in the human family; decrying the political turmoil that is destroying the soul of our nation; following a radical Lord who calls me to risk myself to champion justice and mercy for everyone; and cooperating with diverse partners to identify and participate in God’s work in the world. I remember hearing my dad talk about how difficult it was to walk away from unending arguments over differing interpretations of the Bible. Support independent, faith-based journalism. In the end, the discussion may lead to a decision you do not agree with and that should be a sign to shift gears. The job provided a valuable opportunity for me to grow and learn. Instead of the conflict transpiring into a healthy debate to make a decision which is in the larger interest of the company, the difference of opinion takes on a personal agenda in which one side must lose for the other to win. Rather than agreeing to disagree, this is a scenario that calls for you to disagree and commit. What do you think? This agreeing to disagree led to a difference that festered for nearly a hundred years, leading to a terrible civil war. Disagree, accept, and tolerate that person’s unique opinion in a peaceful manner. For at least two decades, I chose to teach my seminary graduate courses around conference tables rather than from the front of auditorium-style classrooms, specifically so that student learning would occur in the give-and-take of shared ideas. When entering a conflict, it's easy to ignore the other side of the argument and stick to what you know. Disagreements are not only useful, they are essential to the long term success of any organization. Now that I think of it, I remember that my dad used to talk about how good it is not just to agree to disagree but to do so with mutual love and respect. Developer Part of an idea could be bad, the part could be good, and a part might have potential with some tweaks. If you are too connected to your ideas and consider it a part of your identity, then even a slight hint of objection can shatter you to a thousand pieces and you can lose the opportunity to objectively consider a different point of view. Your action will slowly shift your belief system. All rights reserved. Confirmation bias can also make you selectively gather data to fit your beliefs as opposed to using opposing views to update your mental models. Definitions by the largest Idiom Dictionary. I learned to admire this strategy many years ago. As a passionate supporter of ecumenism — and one of the few invited Protestant observers at Vatican II in Rome — Broach was a proponent of ecumenism long before many Baptists publicly agreed that relating to Roman Catholics as brothers and sisters in the faith was appropriate. To his brother Charles, Wesley sent a letter soon after the funeral attributing the peacemaking concept to Whitefield, writing: “If you agree with me, well: if not, we can, as Mr. Whitefield used to say, agree to disagree.”. “There are, nonetheless, some ideas and concerns to which I am strongly committed.”. You don't have to agree with them; you can simply affirm them. Why does the other person think this way? With enough clarity about the purpose of your disagreement, start by stating your intent first. And you can seek to understand". Me too! The two 18th-century leaders of the Great Awakening had long argued about theological differences, but Wesley admitted that some doctrines are non-essential and should not therefore disrupt relationship. But, rarely is a suggestion so bad that you can't find a single nugget of wisdom hidden in there somewhere. OPINION: Views expressed in Baptist News Global columns and commentaries are solely those of the authors. The alternative mindset is both/and - he can be right in terms of his experience, and you can be right in terms of yours", The shift in your belief that there's more to the story can give permission to your brain to engage with the conflict and learn from it by inquiring. Published at DZone with permission of Vinita Bansal. This article was first published on Without an opportunity to explore and express our thoughts, can we really commit wholeheartedly and support conflicting opinions. We cannot move forward without a commitment from all of you to make it successful". The key to couples learning how to agree to disagree is learning how to be good listeners and knowing how to value and express appreciation for their perspective, even if you have a completely different point of view. It does not mean that you agree to their viewpoint. You see it differently." Here are some expressions you can use to agree and disagree. A fuller list of steps that can lead opponents to disagree agreeably is comprised of 10 behaviors: Glen Smith, professor of political science at the University of North Georgia, has published a book offering both a philosophy of political dialogue and ways to diffuse contemporary controversial arguments: Disagreeing Agreeably: Issue Debates, with a Primer on Political Disagreement. AGREE OR DISAGREE ESSAY : In this section, we are going to learn a structure of agree or disagree essay. Why do I think not sharing my disagreement is wrong? Like Liked by 1 person Notice the difference between these two sentences Instead of simply nodding in to show a sign of support, explicitly state what do you commit to doing: Instead of waiting for your thinking to align with the new reality and trigger the right action, act first. Find more ways to say disagree, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. “Disagreeing agreeably” is a popular topic in today’s political climate. Follow these 5 steps to disagree the right way: You may have a great idea or a really bad one. Join the DZone community and get the full member experience. ... Now that I think of it, I remember that my dad used to talk about how good it is not just to agree to disagree but to do so with mutual love and respect. I don’t agree… Romans 14:19. Being stuck in right vs wrong can cause us to feel emotionally stressed out, prevent us from expressing our own ideas with the right frame of mind, and ignore what others have to say. When someone disagrees with you, you can say, "Good! You also need to know how to work out … Amen. It doesn't hide the fact that we disagree nor dismiss the value of our opinion, it simply guides us to know when it's time to get past our conviction and work with others instead of working against them. Want to share a story? As a teacher for most of my adult life, I knew not everyone would — or should — blindly agree with my perspective. Dismissing the decision will make us non-committal and refrain from providing the necessary support to make the project successful. Disagreements in particular may lead to interpretations that are far from the reality of your situation and your intent. Again, the exact words will often vary (for example, many people support the suggestion of X. He and his wife, Diane have two children, Benjamin and Jennifer. A decision that does not go our way is not an attack on our identity, and yet when others disagree with us or disregard our opinion, we take it personally. Isn’t there a third way through our disagreements? Typically, what happens in marriage when spouses disagree is one person shares their perspective. In the same way that I have needed to guide or even end a particularly heated discussion in the seminar room that was becoming contentious or off-topic, occasionally online I have wished once again to be able respectfully to say, “Let’s agree to disagree.”. Rob Sellers is professor of theology and missions emeritus at Hardin-Simmons University’s Logsdon Seminary in Abilene, Texas. Agreeing to disagree is a way to prevent conflict and preserve friendship. That’s one of the questions the apostle Paul answers in his New Testament letter to the Romans. Agreeing. Definition of agree to disagree in the Idioms Dictionary. You're right. He and his wife, Janie, served a quarter century as missionary teachers in Indonesia. Dealing with differences is important, agreeing to disagree ignores those differences. The stronger our belief system, the more difficult it is for us to look beyond our own perspective and treat other people's ideas worthy of consideration. Now that I am retired from my professor responsibilities, I spend a lot of time communicating my thoughts in written form. Initially, I did not know how much he would influence my life. So, don’t disagree, get mad, and try to force your opinion on another person. The phrase has personal significance in my life. Since 1969, he has served the ministry in a variety of roles and, in addition to being heard regularly on Discover the Word radio, continues as a senior content advisor and contributing writer for the Our Daily Bread devotional. See the original article here. My philosophy was that around the table we are all learners and also all teachers, and the line between us kept shifting. That principle was: “Let’s agree to disagree.”, “Our differences will not separate us but rather increase our understanding and strengthen the bonds of Christian love.”. The senior pastor who brought my name to the search committee had served the congregation for 28 years.

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